I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just gift wrapped bread.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
