Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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