if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
