I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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