left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
