Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
