If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
