i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
