ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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