So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
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New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
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Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner