I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.