It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.