do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
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Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
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I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.