i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He felt like a one man threesome
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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