marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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