Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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