David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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