I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
