Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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