Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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