im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
