What did we do last night that was yellow?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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