"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
