BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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