THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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