Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
