Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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