remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
