You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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