wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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