Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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