Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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