after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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