Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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