dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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