the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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