i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
