He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
