yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Farmville is her only friend.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize