He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
