lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
