I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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