Farmville is her only friend.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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