Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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