dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
