She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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