If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
