I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize