I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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