the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
