Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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