Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
