there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
