the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
