So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
