If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
