Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
